The Pernciousness of Personal See-Finish

You must be familiar with the following scenario.

Someone says to another, “That’s a lovely shirt!”

The other replies, “This shirt? It’s old na! It’s getting faded, sef!”

Why do we do this to ourselves?

The attitude behind these kinds of statements (and they are super common) is, I think, a deeply unhealthy one. Think about it: when you say things like that, you’re undermining the judgement of the speaker.

You’re saying, “If you knew better, you wouldn’t think so highly of [insert object of admiration]. It’s not really so hot.”

The sad thing is, we do this even when we really are delighted about the compliment. But rather than express our gratitude for the other’s recognition and admiration, we undermine it. What’s the façade of false humility supposed to prove?

(I used to do this in a misguided attempt to “give God glory.” But given the biblical call to let our light shine so people see our good works and praise God, why insist the works they appreciate are not good?)

Even if (as is sometimes the case), you really don’t think much of whatever’s being praised, will it kill you to bask in the praise? What if there’s really something to it and you’re just suffering from personal see-finish? ☺

Someone will almost certainly praise or compliment you today. Please, for the love of God, don’t insult their judgement with an explanation.

Just say, “Thank you.” (It’s shorter, too.) 😉

Published by Doc Ayomide

I’m a medical doctor with specialty training in psychiatry, and I love thinking and writing about what it means to be human.

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