Talking ≠ Communication

And 3 things you might be taking for granted about getting through to others In my last post, “There’s a gap between doctors and patients (where words apparently go to die),” I talked about how we as doctors consistently miss the point of what patients are trying to say. (It happens vice versa too, of course, …

There’s a gap between doctors and patients

(where words apparently go to die) In my last post, I explained why anyone goes to see a doctor… When a health condition gets too much in the way of our ability to live our life as we want. My point there was that people don’t go to doctors for their symptoms, but so they can get …

Spiderman, the Flash and why outsiders are easy prey to terrorists

(Or, why you should reach out to that young person you know who’s acting out.) “So to become an Avenger, are there like, trials, or…?” So call me late to the party, but I just saw the amazingness that is the Spiderman Homecoming trailer today! I’ve loved Spidey since I was a geeky secondary school student who …

Why is rape so frustrating to explain?

Or, Thoughts on rethinking rape advocacy to rapists Most people think of rape as a VERY BAD THING. Most people also believe that only VERY BAD PEOPLE do VERY BAD THINGS. The trouble is, most people don’t think of themselves as VERY BAD PEOPLE. Ergo, the following thinking: “If rape is a VERY BAD THING, and …

Why do otherwise smart, successful people suck as leaders?

And how can YOU avoid their fate? “My people won’t follow me! They don’t do the tasks I assign them, they don’t take initiative on new issues! I often end up doing things myself, and it’s frustrating! I’m too stressed to babysit adults!” When you call, does anyone answer? This SOS came through during a conversation with …

The problem with our wrongheaded ideas of leadership

Or, How we help those leading us to handicap us There’s a very worrying way of thinking that’s pervasive in Nigeria (and maybe Africa), we take its normalcy for granted, when it’s really very deadly. The child who turns out poorly is blamed by elders for being a fool.The student who fails is blamed by the …

I want my (unborn) kids to create, not just consume.

Here’s why — and my ideas for how. I taught myself to code as a kid. It was only in QBasic (this was in the late 90s and although Windows existed, MS-DOS and floppy disks were still a thing), but it was an amazing experience nonetheless. I’d been lucky to find a tutorial book in the boring computer …

On Mourning Prince—and Other Icons

A response to those who wonder I was thinking tonight about my longstanding love of fantasy, and then it hit me… Fantasy always leaves me mourning. The thought was a surprise, and got me thinking it could perhaps explain the reaction to Prince, and before him, David Bowie and Whitney and MJ and all the icons …

7 Ways Nollywood Misleads Us on Mental Illness

Nollywood has stepped up plenty in the last decade or so, and become we can be proud of. From oldies (sort of) like Ije and Figurine, to recent hits like Half of a Yellow Sun and October 1, we’ve seen better and better movies and TV shows. But there’s one area Nollywood — and Nigerian …

The Pernciousness of Personal See-Finish

You must be familiar with the following scenario. Someone says to another, “That’s a lovely shirt!” The other replies, “This shirt? It’s old na! It’s getting faded, sef!” Why do we do this to ourselves? The attitude behind these kinds of statements (and they are super common) is, I think, a deeply unhealthy one. Think …

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