Or, Thoughts on rethinking rape advocacy to rapists Most people think of rape as a VERY BAD THING. Most people also believe that only VERY BAD PEOPLE do VERY BAD THINGS. The trouble is, most people don’t think of themselves as VERY BAD PEOPLE. Ergo, the following thinking: “If rape is a VERY BAD THING, and …
Category archives: Human nature
Why do otherwise smart, successful people suck as leaders?
And how can YOU avoid their fate? “My people won’t follow me! They don’t do the tasks I assign them, they don’t take initiative on new issues! I often end up doing things myself, and it’s frustrating! I’m too stressed to babysit adults!” When you call, does anyone answer? This SOS came through during a conversation with …
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The problem with our wrongheaded ideas of leadership
Or, How we help those leading us to handicap us There’s a very worrying way of thinking that’s pervasive in Nigeria (and maybe Africa), we take its normalcy for granted, when it’s really very deadly. The child who turns out poorly is blamed by elders for being a fool.The student who fails is blamed by the …
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I want my (unborn) kids to create, not just consume.
Here’s why — and my ideas for how. I taught myself to code as a kid. It was only in QBasic (this was in the late 90s and although Windows existed, MS-DOS and floppy disks were still a thing), but it was an amazing experience nonetheless. I’d been lucky to find a tutorial book in the boring computer …
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On Mourning Prince—and Other Icons
A response to those who wonder I was thinking tonight about my longstanding love of fantasy, and then it hit me… Fantasy always leaves me mourning. The thought was a surprise, and got me thinking it could perhaps explain the reaction to Prince, and before him, David Bowie and Whitney and MJ and all the icons …
7 Ways Nollywood Misleads Us on Mental Illness
Nollywood has stepped up plenty in the last decade or so, and become we can be proud of. From oldies (sort of) like Ije and Figurine, to recent hits like Half of a Yellow Sun and October 1, we’ve seen better and better movies and TV shows. But there’s one area Nollywood — and Nigerian …
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The Pernciousness of Personal See-Finish
You must be familiar with the following scenario. Someone says to another, “That’s a lovely shirt!” The other replies, “This shirt? It’s old na! It’s getting faded, sef!” Why do we do this to ourselves? The attitude behind these kinds of statements (and they are super common) is, I think, a deeply unhealthy one. Think …
Explanations Are Not Excuses
The difference between understanding and justifying Just the other day I was trying to describe to a friend the process of someone becoming abusive. (I was trying to go into more detail on my piece on the process of abuse.) I’d barely gotten into my attempt when my friend responded, “Oh, so they’re not to …
Why do people who have experienced violence act unexpectedly?
And what can YOU do to help? This piece was originally posted on Bella Naija. I had a client once who had been involved with a cult. And in telling me about the experience, it was striking to observe the swinging between recognising how messed up the experience had been and defending the person behind it. …
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Why the attack on Ambode is retrogressive for mental health
Why the attack on Ambode is retrogressive for mental health This post was first published on my blog, DocAyomide.com. So I woke up the other day to this piece of news going round: Are you kidding me?! I was upset by that headline, but I thought, “Let me read the article first before I start to …
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